Broken
by TheresAlwaysAMystery
Summary: Jane is up to his usual tricks, and pulls Lisbon along for the ride. Lisbon gets more than she bargained for when she asks him to open up to her.


"I'm sorry Teresa" Jane apologized, as he got out of the car; Lisbon's car. Looking around he didn't recognize the simple modern house they were heading towards, with it's high windows and square edges everywhere. It wasn't quite to his taste, and he grimaced a moment, but he knew that it simply meant that he was less likely to be found. That was what protective custody was all about right?

"No you're not" Lisbon's tone was supposed to be harsh, but there was something else he couldn't quite distinguish in her voice. Dressed in an outfit the likes of which Jane had never seen her wear, he couldn't help but stare a bit. The shimery top and sleek pants had been hard to see in the car, but the street light gave him a clear view and he admired how they flattered her.

"No" He protested, "I mean it, when we get out of this mess-"

Lisbon stopped, one hand on the door handle, and interrupted him "-we?"

"_I_ get out of this mess; I'm going to make it up to you"

"Un huh, Sure." She opened the door, and flicked the light on. Like there really was a mess. They'd had this conversation before; She was just waiting for him to reveal the catch. There was ALWAYS something more going on in Jane's head.

"I mean it!" Jane looked around at the room they now stood in. Simple, and comfortable. A couch stood at the far end, with the kitchen to his right. Tea, he thought. And headed in that direction. Lisbon turned to lock the door, and followed him.

Lisbon sighed "Jane? What's going on this time?"

"You know the drill. Big bad guys start shooting, i-i don't like it."

"Jane..."

"There is nothing more! I swear!"

"Why don't I believe you? Oh! Could it have something to do with the fact that I was going out on my first real date in months? And I get a call saying Jane's been attacked?" She made a face to go with her air quotations around the word 'attacked'. "I'm pretty sure they were old friends of yours weren't they? Jane, Save your petty jealousy for somebody else. I don't have time." She tossed the keys on the table and stormed into the next room.

Now it was Jane's turn to sigh. He should've been expecting this, there were only so many times he could manipulate their friendship before she would begin to question absolutely everything he said or did. Maybe now he could give it a rest for a while, give her a reason to trust him besides his intellect. The kettle whistled and startled him, and a moment later that he was walking into the other room with a tray.

Lisbon was absentmindedly flicking through channels on the TV and didn't even glance up at him. She growled in frustration, (apparently she could find nothing), and turned if off. Jane handed her a cup of Earl Grey, and went to sit in the couch opposite her. They sat in silence Jane sipping his tea, and Lisbon wishing he has thought to make green. If it had to have caffeine in it, couldn't he have made some coffee? Who was she kidding. Jane? Make coffee...? Ha.

Jane kept glancing at her like he had something to say, but he didn't say a word. Heavens knew they had a lot to talk about, with everything that had happened in the past week. Finally, she got fed up. "Would you stop that!"

"Stop what?" he replied, and crossed one foot over the other

"You know what!" He was playing games again, and it infuriated her.

"I do?"

"Jane..." She sighed "You're prying. You want me to tell you something, so that you don't have to offer up any information yourself. You do it more than you realize"

"Is there something to tell?" he asked.

"You tell me!"

"Very well; from your tone i know that you are angry, about the whole me arranging protective custody for myself, but the fact that you came anyways means that you still care." He smiled at her, and she had to try to stay didn't help that she hadn't really been mad in the first place, merely annoyed. "I'm touched Lisbon," He continued, "Really."

"I didn't _choose _to come..." her voice drifted off, and it was all he needed to seal his argument

"Teresa, there is no point arguing, we both know the truth. You can stop pretending.

Her whole demeanor changed, from anger and frustration, to amusement and relief.

"Don't think I'm not still mad at you. Those men..."

"Ah, they'll be out the other side of the car before Rigsby can get in the front"

"You're probably right... she chuckled."

"Was the date really that bad?"

Lisbon gave Jane one of those 'how on earth did you know' looks, and remembered who she was talking with. "Awful. He took me Bowling, which i guess isn't too bad, but for the fact that he's a very sore loser. The rest of the evening was not looking good."

"And you were wearing that?"

"Ridiculous isn't it?" She looked down at the shirt. Why had she worn it anyways? It was something Van Pelt had gotten her for her birthday, and definitely not something she would have chosen for herself.

"All i meant was if he wanted to continue being seen with a woman who dresses like that, bowling was not a good first choice. And I was thinking, Sexy, but if you prefer ridiculous..." He shrugged, and sipped at his cup.

"Sexy?" She half smiled, and thought about what he'd said. "Jane, why do you do this?"

Jane said nothing, easily predicting what she was going to say, but doing nothing to stop her.

"You continuously flirt, but you won't move on. Jane you have to let her go, she'd want you to be happy."

"I Know." He traced the rim of the cup with his thumb. "So are you two planning another date?"

"No, I think one was enough." She stood and went to sit on the couch with him."Jane, do you want to talk? You planned this all for a reason. What was it?"

"I'm not allowed to just have you over to hang out? Watch a movie?"

"Jane this isn't your house. We haven't 'hung out' before. Cut the crap. Is this about Red John? What did he say to you?"

"Teresa it doesn't matter what he said."

"Of course it does. Talk to me Jane." She wasn't sure what to think of him calling her Teresa all the time now. She'd tried calling him Patrick, and it hadn't gone over so well.

"It's just hard, you know?"

Lisbon reached out and grabbed his hand. It was warm, but stiff. "Jane..." She squeezed his hand with her own, forcing the now quiet Jane to look up at her. Their eyes caught for a few seconds, and she saw more pain then she'd thought he harboured. She knew that he blamed himself for their deaths, but this, this was more.

"Jane, tell me"

Jane looked to the side and pulled his hand away. Gently he put his cup on the table. "Teresa. Don't go there. It's a dark place. You don't want to see it."

"What if i do? Jane you know everything there is to know about me, most of it i didn't get to tell you myself. It's only fair that i should know more about you." She had to get him to open up; something was eating at him, and it wasn't healthy. They may just have been colleagues, but he was a dear friend, and she hated to see him hurt.

His eyes hardened over again, and for a moment Teresa thought she had chosen the wrong thing to say. Instead, Jane simply asked, "When's the next shift?"

It wasn't a question Teresa had been expecting, but nevertheless she recovered her composure quickly "They're not. I told them i'd stay with you for the rest of the night. Considering i knew this was all a hoax... besides, no one wants to get up so they were fine to let me take the shift." She studied his reaction, but he revealed nothing. "Jane..." She reached for his hand again, but this time he wouldn't let her take it. He stood up and gathered the now empty cups, and carried them into the Kitchen. Disappointed, but determined to let him take the time he needed, she waited where she was. After about ten minutes though, she grew concerned enough to go check what he was doing.

He was in the kitchen, the dirty cups on the counter, back to her staring out the window.

"Jane?" Teresa said; when he didn't respond or move at all, she tried again: "Jane?" He continued to stare. What on earth was so interesting? She walked around so that she could see his face "Jane...?" His eyes were darting back and forth and his knuckles were white where they gripped the counter behind him "JANE!" She grabbed his shoulder with the last attempt, and startled him. He looked dreadful now, but she was certain whatever he felt here was better than whatever memory he had been stuck in. Maybe she'd been prying too hard...

Jane looked about him as if he had just woken up. "Teresa?" His tone frightened her, it was uncertain, hesitant. Nothing at all like the man she knew. The Jane she was seeing now was vulnerable, more vulnerable then she'd ever seen before

"Jane it's me," She felt the need to comfort him, "it's alright."

"Teresa, It's my fault. All of it." He swallowed hard, and his legs seemed to simply fold under him. Teresa caught him as best she could, but he was heavier than she could manage on her own, so she just ended up on the floor with him. She sat with him half leaning into her, half against the cabinets, legs out awkwardly to the side in a position that could not be comfortable, but she was not concerned about that at the moment, and neither was he.

"Jane, it's not your fault."

"Yes it is." He leaned into her for support, resting his head on her shoulder. "All of them, because of me. All because of me. Because of me" He continued to mutter for another couple of moments.

Teresa took his face in her hands, and pulled the both of them into a more comfortable position "Jane, look at me. Look at me!" his eyes found hers, and for once she understood what it would have been like for Sophie, dealing with this broken man who had lost his family. "Jane, it is not your fault. If you think that, then he wins. You hear me? He. Wins." She looked at him again, and wondered what she had done. "commere" She said, and pulled him into a hug. Jane was silent, and it was like he was in auto pilot, he had no conscious thoughts over what he was doing. Teresa gave him a tight squeeze and pulled back. Had she triggered some sort of relapse? It hadn't taken much, if so, and that thought greatly concerned her. Was he safe to be out in public if a couple words was all it took for him to break down? Her brow furrowed for a split second before she wiped her face of all emotion. Jane was dealing with enough emotions of his own. Hers weren't needed here.

"Teresa"

"Yes?" Her voice was hopeful.

"You should've stopped me. Stopped me from tracking down Red John."

"Jane" She squeezed his hands, and felt a slight squeeze back. Hope flared in her chest. "Tracking down Red John was a good thing, in the end. So many lives were saved-"

"-no. Well maybe, but no." He shook his head. "Many lives were saved, many more were lost. Because of me." Jane fell silent again.

Teresa sighed. "Jane, he would've killed them all and more. There is nothing you could have done."

"If i hadn't looked, he wouldn't have. He told me."

So that's what this was all about. Finally, the soft spoken words of a serial killer to a desperate man came out. Words to a vengeful man, a broken man. Words meant to cause the utmost pain. It saddened her deeply that he had succeeded. "So? Why would you believe him? He's messing with you Jane, don't let him. Common Jane, let's get you on the couch" Draping his arm across her shoulders, she was able to half guide half stumble, and help Jane to the couch in the room from before. He said not a word, and made no sound at all. When he sat, he simply stared into the distance, or his eyes darted to things that Teresa was fairly sure were not there. She sat on a foot rest at the base of the couch, grasping his hands in her own. She tried to talk to him some more, begged, pleaded, bargained, threatened. She _had_ to coax some sense out of him. Eventually, although she hated to admit it, she could do no more.

"Jane?" she said, without hope even that he would hear her, but because it would feel wrong if she didn't. "Jane, I'm going to call Sophie, alright? She'll be here soon." Teresa stood from her place on the floor at the bottom of the couch, and walked towards where she had left her phone in the other room. Screw two o'clock in the morning. "I'll be right back"

"No." There was desperation in his voice.

"No?" She was surprised he had registered what she'd been saying.

"Don't." Jane whispered

"Jane?" "Had he snapped out of it? She hardly dared hope.

"Don't call Sophie. Don't leave me. I don't want to be alone." His voice was louder and clearer now, but scared.

"Jane you need help... I'm way outta my league here."

"I don't need help. I need time. Please," He begged, raising his eyes to meet hers of his own accord for the first time that night, "Don't leave me"

Her heart softened at the tone of his voice, "Alright" she gave in, and went to go sit on the chair. At least he was talking some sense again.

"No, come here" Jane was pointing to a spot on the couch.

Teresa changed direction, and sat swiftly beside him on the couch, not hesitating at all. If she'd thought about it, her working instinct would probably have told her to avoid such a situation, even as benign as it was, but she was thinking only of what Jane needed. She was definitely not a Boss tonight; she was a friend, a friend helping a friend in need. He pulled his knees up under him, and leaned against her, adopting a very childlike pose, and it just seemed right to put her arm around his shoulder. She felt him relax as her arm wrapped around his upper body, his muscles stopped their near invisible quivering and loosened a bit. He took a deep breath.

"Thank you"

"Jane of course, i'm not gonna leave."

"Everyone leaves. Promise me you won't leave Teresa? No matter what?" There was fear in his voice, and she rushed to calm him down again

"I won't leave."

"Promise me."

"I promise." She said.

"Thank you" he breathed, and after a moment, dropped his head so that it rested on her shoulder. Teresa stiffened for a moment, and then softened back into the couch. It was actually quite comfortable. She found herself playing with his hair every now and then, and had to stop before he might notice. Not that he would. He seemed to drift in and out of memories, and when he was somewhere where he could see her, he simply seemed thankful that she was there. When he started to panic, she would calm him, rubbing his shoulder and repeating, "Jane, Jane, It's all right, it's all right..."

As the night wore on, Teresa felt her lack of sleep wearying her, and was thankful when Jane finally fell asleep. Careful as she could, she lifted his head from her lap, and wedged a pillow in as she got up. She then made herself a cup of coffee, and fetched her phone from the other room. She didn't feel comfortable leaving him for any longer, not in the state he'd been in. Not wanting him to know that she'd left, even for a minute or two, she returned to the same spot on the couch, his head in her lap. Some hair had fallen in his face, and so she brushed it back with two fingers. Her stomach fluttered with concern, the same reason she'd brought her phone. If Jane didn't snap out of it, or if he got worse, she needed to be able to contact someone to help. She wasn't able to give him what he needed, whether help was what he wanted or not. Sophie was now on speed dial. She clicked the phone closed and set it on the side table.

For the meantime though, Teresa figured it wouldn't hurt her to sleep a bit either. She closed her eyes for 10 minute intervals, constantly checking on Jane. Who was still asleep thankfully, but she had no idea, how long it would last. Finally, she gave in to her better judgement, and called Sophie.

Leaving a message for her, Teresa said: "Hi Sophie, its Teresa Lisbon. There's a... situation, and Jane needs your help." She left the address of the house they were in, and a time to meet them in the morning. Even though she could now be sure that Jane would be fine, one way or another, with Sophie coming, she felt guilty for calling her when Jane had been so against the idea. But she wasn't coming now; she would be here in the morning. And Teresa wasn't leaving.

Teresa sighed, and couldn't help but stroke his face with her hand. He looked so childlike and innocent in sleep, and she dreaded the moment when he awoke to all the horrors of earlier that evening. "Oh Jane, what happened to you?" she muttered to herself.

She slept then, worried sleep, but sleep all the same. She woke with a start in the morning, and was surprised to find that they had somewhat switched positions; she was now sleeping with her head on his shoulder. How on earth-

"Morning sleepyhead"

"Jane?!" She sat upright so fast she almost fell over, and whipped her head around to look at him. He looked disheveled, exhausted, and maybe a tad nervous, but there was no sign that he was going to have another 'episode'. He half smiled at her, a grateful smile, and she nearly choked in surprise. "Jane?" She was more hesitant this time, as if she were testing the waters before diving in.

"Teresa. I'm sorry- I'm sorry you had to see that." He got right to the point. She on the other hand, wasn't sure what to make of the sudden change.

"Are you... how are you?"

"I'm much better. That... That happens every now and again. It's nothing to worry about."

Teresa was surprised, "It's happened before? Jane, that's not healthy."

"I'm so sorry you were here for it."

"I did push. And you did warn me... but Jane, does anyone know?"

"Yes; you." He had that look in his eye, a joking look that she was not ready for yet. "And yes, i may have warned you, but it was about something else. I never thought that _that_ would happen, i was simply saying that there were things you didn't want to know about me."

"Teresa, there is a reason i haven't told you everything. But i will tell you this. You know more than anyone, apart from Sophie. I trust you. And i tell you now, you can't tell anyone about this. Please? Promise me?"

"Jane... " she grimaced, and looked at the clock, Sophie would be there soon "It may be too late for that."

Jane's face was almost comical, as he said, "Teresa, What did you do?"

"Well, you should tell her anyways, so it's not a big deal. I called Sophie." Jane's face was clear image of, 'Why, why would you do that?', and so she hurried to explain, "Jane I was worried sick about you. I know you didn't want me to call her, but I wasn't sure what else to do. I didn't know what was going on, and i didn't want you to get hurt any more than you were already." She could see the beginning of understanding in his face, and continued. "Sorry Jane, but it was the right thing to do. I'll stand by that." Teresa stood up off the couch, and turned to face him. "Jane, I'm not going to lie, that was one of the scariest things I've done in a long time. One moment you were terrified of everything in sight, the next you were seeing things that weren't there! I did the best i could, but can you blame me for wanting someone here when i woke up if you were the same as before? Or even worse?"

Jane stood up, and reached his arms out, "Common," he said, "Commere." He wrapped his arms tight around her, and squeezed, resting his head on her shoulder, just like last night. After a moment or two, she hugged him back, having to reach up now because they were both standing. They relaxed into it as only two good friends know how, taking comfort in the presence of the other, but needing nothing more. "Thank you." He said simply "Thank you for staying. Thank you for not leaving me." He let go of the embrace, and squeezed her hands. After a long night of her clutching them, trying to reach Jane through contact, the fact that they were so full of life was nice to feel. She squeezed back, letting him know that she was still here. She wouldn't leave unless he wanted her to. She'd made a promise


End file.
